A couple’s false sense of well-being – pay attention to these 8 signs

  

The old saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” only applies until something breaks. No sports coach with the minimum level of competence will believe this quote. They know that waiting until their team starts losing to start making changes is a recipe for disaster.

The truth is that this saying is for the lazy. When a person doesn’t want to go to a lot of trouble to care of something, they use this popular quote to justify their apathy.
I’ve seen this happen to many couples. They’re doing well (or so it seems), till one day a bomb goes off. However, a closer look to what really happened reveals that the problem already existed way before the blast. The small signs were there, such as:

1. The couple’s tedious routine.
2. A lack of meaningful conversation.
3. Minor irritations that became constant ones.
4. Fights that never dealt with the root cause.
5. Intimacy was slower than a limping snail (or pleasant only for the man).
6. They couldn’t agree on important issues.
7. A lot of tension between the couple.
8. Schedules that pushed them farther away from each other.

Despite all these signs, the couple keeps thinking that “everything’s fine.” Typical of every couple, isn’t it? But then again, no. These signs don’t indicate a normal marriage, let alone a healthy one.
The problem with such couples is what I call “a false sense of well-being”. They think they’re fine. She thinks that it’s just the way he is. (To be honest, men are usually the ones incurring in this mistake. Men are known for waiting till the last minutes of extra time to deal with their marital problems, and only towards the very end, when all is practically lost, they try to win the game.)
Pay attention to this point:

For a team to keep winning, it is necessary to pay close attention to its performance and make the preventive adjustments every time it’s needed.

 Our great responsibility

 

For if the trumpet makes an uncertain sound, who will prepare for the battle?
I Corinthians 14.8
The trumpet is an instrument of war placed in the hands of the Watchman so that he can warn people about the danger of the sword.
But it’s not enough to be a Watchman and have a trumpet, you must blow it in a way that can be understood, preparing the people for battle. In our case, the battle is for our Salvation.
How many souls are in hell, and how many are still going to go (we are talking about millions of souls), just because they are not prepared, they did not understand the sound of the trumpet?
It is true that many did not want to surrender to the Lord Jesus, but we cannot forget those that were lost because of the Watchman’s negligence.
The devil knows the importance of the Watchman and knows that he is appointed by God Himself. But, once distracted, the sound of his trumpet will not be understood.
This is why the devil tries to distract him with other thoughts to divert his focus, which should only be on saving souls.
An uncertain sound is when:
Emotional faith takes the place of intelligent faith;
The focus is on the gold and not the Altar that sanctifies the gold;
Religious traditions replace the Commandments.
When the right sound is given, those who hear it are left with no doubts.
And so the people are able to get prepared for battle.
The trumpet is already in our hands, but we cannot be distracted, because this would cost lives.

Why did we lose the Power of Asking?

 

 

 

 

 

We were all born with the power of asking. Only seconds after we were born, we already started screaming our lungs out to complain about that drastic drop in temperature, from our mother’s womb to that cold hospital room… And if we took too long to cry, the doctor slapped us to make sure we cried, because that meant everything was okay with us.

But that is about the only time in life somebody actually encourages us to cry. After that, it’s pretty much a conspiracy to try and keep us quiet.

Why is that baby crying? Where’s that pacifier, for crying out loud? (No pun intended…)

It only gets worse from there. And it’s not just our parents — it’s school, it’s religion, (especially religion), it’s social norms… Think about it. Have you any idea how many times we hear the word “no” by the time we are 10 years old? It’s no, you can’t, it’s not allowed, this is not for you, not now, don’t do this, be quiet (or the less polite “shut up!)…

Now, compare how often we’re told all those variations of “no” to how often we’re told yes. The truth is we are told “no” so many more times than “yes” that we begin to expect a “no”. And what happens when we begin to expect a “no”? Exactly. We stop asking!

That’s why by the time we are in our teens or early adult years, we’ve all but lost the power of asking.

So, is there any hope? Is there anything we can do to resurrect the power of asking within us? The good news is there is, and we’ll explore that in our upcoming posts, but before I finish today I’d like you to know this:

Asking is the beginning of receiving.

Successful people are often just better askers. They ask more of life, and so they get more.

If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’ll always be in the same place.

NO ONE WAS BORN PROUD




The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it. — Mignon McLaughlin 
It’s very hard to help a proud person. His pride won’t let him recognize he needs help, let alone receive it. Is there any hope for such person? Sometimes I wonder. 
On the other hand, I don’t think proud people became proud by choice. I can’t imagine they decided one day, “You know what, I’m going to be proud from now on.” So, pride got into them, without them even realizing it. How?
I don’t have the answer. But I think one answer is that they fell in love with themselves. Somehow, they began to admire their qualities way above other people’s, to the point of despising everyone else.
Don’t get me wrong: everyone needs a good dose of self-love. That’s good and it’s healthy. But proud people take that too far.
I believe it’s not by chance that God requires people to love Him above self:
If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. Luke 14.26
The only safety we have against pride is to love God above everything, everyone, and above self.
Therefore, it’s impossible for a person to know God and be proud.

Bishop Renato Cardoso

 

 

A two-way street

God knows your requests, everything that you expect to receive from Him. Have no doubt about it. According to your faith, you will receive them.

The question is:

Do you know what God has asked of you? And most importantly:

Have you honored His request yet?

 

Outsmarting your habit

You already know, the majority of things that you do daily consist of habits. From the side of the bed you sleep on, to the time you wake up, or what you do from the time you wake up, the food you eat, the route to work, your routine at work and dozens of other tasks you complete – are all habitual.

Habit is something we do without much thinking. The activity is already embedded in our memory and triggered by some kind of deficit faced in a situation or activity. The bad taste in your mouth in the morning triggers the habit of brushing your teeth. The smell and taste of the rice on your plate triggers the habit of adding beans as well. The annoyance your husband causes you triggers the habit of brushing him off and diving into Facebook for the next two hours. (You can’t imagine the power of habit.)

That’s where the problem lies. Bad habits create bad results. We know this, but we’re still not able to break them. Why? Because we’re not outsmarting them.

It’s possible for you to break a habit, if you only take your brain off auto-pilot and use it.

Want to break a bad habit? Are you up for an experiment?

Okay, here goes. The first step is to identify the bad habit that you want to break.

Write it down on paper. But before you do pay attention. It has to be something:

1. that really bothers you
2. that you’re sick of falling for, and
3. that will bring you positive results, a good reward, when broken and substituted with something better

These three points are very important. The habit that you want to break has to be included in one of the three. So now, take a couple of minutes and write what it is.

The Coach

The starting point for the coach is to believe in the player, in his potential.

Then he identifies his strengths and weaknesses.

He decides what to do to maximize his strengths and eliminate his weaknesses.
He is demanding, because he knows that every player is a reflection of the coach.
He disciplines with a firm hand but not to the point of hurt, because he knows the limits of the person.
He shows how it’s done and provides the necessary tools for the job to be done.
He teaches.
He is a friend but not a buddy.
He helps the person achieve more than he could ever do alone.

Every father (and mother) is a coach.
Every husband (and wife) is a coach.
Every teacher is a coach.
Every boss is a coach.
Every pastor is a coach.
Every leader is a coach.
YOU are a coach — if not to another person, at least to yourself.

What kind of coach have you been?